"Print more stories about Spider-Man!"

"Plaster that wall-crawling menace all over the front page!" bellows J. Jonah Jameson at his beleaguered staff. "That's the way you sell papers in this town!" Well, Triple-J and the Daily Bugle, while rooted in the muckraking Manhattan tabloid tradition, may be merely fictional, but here's the actual front page of today's New York Post, the only daily paper that makes the Bugle look like The Wall Street Journal:



Check out the headline inside:

GRAND THEFT HITS SPIDEY'S 'MARY JANE'

Not "Kirsten Dunst." Not "Starlet Dunst." Not even "Spidey's Kirsten Dunst."

SPIDEY'S 'MARY JANE'

If you were worried at all that this role would typecast you, Kirsten...well...welcome to Adam West Country.